Curious about how to maximize pleasure and intimacy with a strap-on? You’ve come to the right place. Strap-ons provide a versatile option for various sexual practices, from penetrative sex and pegging to packing for gender affirmation. But how do you pick the right one? What are the best practices for a comfortable and enjoyable experience? This guide answers these questions and more, ensuring you and your partner can explore strap-ons confidently and safely, regardless of your gender or orientation. Get ready to discover the ins and outs of choosing, using, and enjoying a strap-on.
What Is a Strap-On and Who Uses Them?
A strap-on is a dildo that attaches to the body, typically with a harness, for use during sexual activity. While traditionally associated with lesbian couples, strap-ons are for anyone interested, including those with penises. They offer a versatile option for various sexual practices and can enhance intimacy and pleasure for all involved.
Strap-ons are excellent for individuals of any gender interested in pegging or anal play. They provide an option for penetrative sex to those with vulvas and are particularly beneficial for people with penises who may experience unreliable erections. By using a strap-on, they can still participate in penetrative sex, ensuring both partners enjoy the experience.
Strap-ons aren’t limited to penetration. Many people enjoy the power dynamics and sensations involved in giving or receiving oral sex while the receptive partner wears a strap-on. This versatility makes them appealing across different sexual preferences and dynamics.
Penetrative Sex
Strap-ons enable gay women or trans men to simulate traditional penetrative sex, allowing for physical thrusting that mimics a real penis. This can enhance the realism and connection of the experience, making it more fulfilling.
Hands-free penetrative sex is another advantage of strap-ons, creating a more natural and intimate experience. Users can thrust naturally, feeling empowered and in control, which can make the encounter more satisfying.
Pegging
Pegging involves women using strap-ons to penetrate their male partners, stimulating the P-spot and potentially leading to a full-body male orgasm. This practice can be highly enjoyable for both partners.
Despite common misconceptions, many heterosexual men enjoy pegging. It doesn’t indicate anything about their sexual orientation but reflects their openness to exploring different forms of pleasure.
Double Penetration
Men can use strap-ons alongside their natural penis to achieve double penetration with their female partners. This allows for simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration, providing unique sensations.
Double penetration strap-ons typically attach directly to the penis and are secured with a cock ring. This ensures stability and ease of use during the act, enhancing the overall experience.
Erectile Dysfunction
Strap-ons can be especially helpful for those with penises who struggle with unreliable erections. As mentioned, they allow for penetrative sex without relying on their penis, ensuring both partners can still enjoy the experience.
Packing
Some trans men use strap-ons to alleviate dysphoria and connect better with their gender identity. Wearing them daily can provide a sense of completeness and comfort.
Strap-ons can also be used by trans men during masturbation, offering a more gender-affirming experience. Regular use can boost confidence and body comfort, even outside sexual contexts.
Why They’re Awesome
Strap-ons offer hands-free pleasure, allowing the wearer’s hands to explore their partner’s body or their own. This enhances intimacy and connection.
They enable experimentation with new ways of giving and receiving pleasure, adding excitement to the sexual experience. Open communication between partners is necessary, which can build intimacy and ensure mutual enjoyment.
The Drawbacks
Strap-ons require setup, including putting on the harness, fastening it, and applying lube. This can reduce the spontaneity of sex.
Using a strap-on can be challenging at first, especially for beginners unfamiliar with the thrusting motion. However, practice improves the experience.
Communication is crucial when using a strap-on. Since the wearer cannot feel the toy like a real penis, feedback from their partner is essential to avoid discomfort and enhance the experience.
The Different Types Available
Moving from the general uses and benefits of strap-ons, let’s explore the different types available to suit various preferences and needs.
Harness
Harnesses are the most common type of strap-ons and come in several styles to cater to different needs. Jockstrap or three-strap harnesses loop around the waist and over each butt cheek. This design offers a secure fit and leaves all holes open for additional play. They are customizable to fit all sizes comfortably and provide lots of control.
Thong or two-strap harnesses wrap around the waist and between the legs. This style provides a different sensation and more coverage than jockstrap styles. They are ideal for users seeking a more covered and snug fit.
Underwear-style harnesses are worn like regular underwear. They come in various designs, from masculine boxer briefs to more feminine styles. These harnesses are easy to use and strap-free, making them better suited to heavier toys. However, they offer less support compared to other types.
Strapless
Strapless strap-ons are double-sided dildos that insert into both partners simultaneously. The smaller shaft, often called the ‘pony,’ anchors in the giver’s vagina. These toys rely on the strength of the vaginal muscles to stay in place, making kegel exercises essential for effective use.
The main advantages of strapless strap-ons include less setup time and the ability to provide some stimulation to the giver. This design allows for a more intimate connection between partners, enhancing the overall experience.
Vac-U-Lock
Vac-U-Lock strap-ons use a unique plug system instead of an o-ring. This makes the system more easily interchangeable and compatible with all Vac-U-Lock attachments. Users can attach any dildo without worrying about o-ring sizing requirements, providing more flexibility in toy selection.
The ease of switching attachments makes Vac-U-Lock strap-ons a versatile option. This system is ideal for users who like to experiment with different dildos and sizes, offering a wide range of possibilities.
Hollow
Hollow strap-ons are designed primarily for male users, particularly those with erectile dysfunction. They allow users to insert their flaccid or erect penis into the hollow center. These strap-ons act as penis extensions, bolstering the size of the user’s erection.
The hollow design provides a practical solution for maintaining sexual activity and satisfaction despite erectile issues. This type of strap-on enables penetrative sex, ensuring that users can continue to enjoy their sex life.
Strap-On Sex Basics: Picking the Right Harness and Dildo
Now that we’ve covered the types of strap-ons, let’s delve into how to pick the right harness and dildo for your needs. When choosing a harness, consider whether you have a partner in mind, as their body shape and preferences will be crucial. “If you have a partner in mind, make sure the purchase is a joint effort. You’re both going to be using it, so you should both have a say in the particulars,” says California-based sex expert Jill McDevitt.
There are two main styles of harnesses for pegging and penetrative sex: underwear-style and strap-on style. Underwear-style harnesses look like a pair of underwear and come in various styles such as boxers, briefs, boy shorts, and thongs. Strap-on style harnesses have adjustable straps, making them easier to fit snugly to the body.
The material of the harness is also important for ease of cleaning and durability. Harnesses come in various materials like rope, leather, neoprene, nylon, spandex, and polyester. “Something machine-washable means you can wash it and not have to worry about germs or bacteria transmission,” says Sloane. This is especially useful if you plan to use it with multiple partners.
Choosing the Right Size
Selecting the appropriate size of a mouth gag is crucial for safety and comfort. A gag that is too small can cause discomfort and breathing difficulties, while a gag that is too large may not effectively restrain speech.
It’s best to start with a small gag and gradually work up to larger sizes, allowing time to adjust to both the physical and psychological sensations. Proper measurements should be taken to find the perfect fit for a secure and enjoyable experience, ensuring that the gag fits well and fulfills its purpose without causing harm.
Design
Strap-on dildos come in all sorts of designs and colors. You can be as conservative or as outlandish as you like. It doesn’t even have to look like an actual penis if you’d prefer something more exotic. There are lots of more sculptural, artistically-designed dildos out there to choose from.
Many users feel a deep personal connection with their toy, so it’s important that it looks the way you want it to. Usually, the wearer gets to choose the design as they’re going to be the one using it as if it were part of their own body. Some strap-ons come with a few added extras that you might be interested in. Look out for novelty features and functions, like built-in butt plugs or vibrators, while you’re shopping around and factor them into your final decision.
Material
Opt for body-safe materials like silicone, ABS plastic, or medical-grade silicone for a smooth and hygienic experience. Using body-safe materials ensures a safe and pleasurable experience.
As we have discussed previously, silicone, ABS plastic, and medical-grade silicone are recommended for their non-toxic properties. This ensures both safety and comfort during use.
Firmness
The firmness of a toy impacts how squishy it is and how intense its texture feels. Just like with sizes, what one shop defines as soft may be different from another shop’s soft. However, most shops also list the shore firmness that the toy was poured in, which is a much more consistent measurement.
The most common firmness names are super soft for 00-20, soft for 00-30, medium for 00-50, and firm for 8A or 10A. This varies between shops, so make sure to double-check the shop’s definition. As mentioned, most toys in a given firmness feel comparable, but the squishiness of a toy varies depending on how dense or thick it is.
The final firmness of a toy is influenced by pigment density and manufacturing quirks. Near Clear (NC31 and NC45) is especially variable and can range from the expected firmness to something that feels much firmer, especially if the toy is boiled. Most shops disclose if a specific toy’s firmness feels much different from expected.
Features
Vibrating strap-ons include in-built vibrators at the base of the dildo or attached to the harness. This provides added stimulation for the wearer and enhances the overall experience.
Some strap-ons come with novelty features like built-in butt plugs, offering additional avenues for pleasure and variety during sex. Again, the materials and firmness of strap-ons vary, with options like medical-grade, non-porous silicone for body safety and different levels of firmness to suit both the giver and receiver’s preferences.
This section concludes how to pick the right harness and dildo, emphasizing the importance of considering both the wearer’s and partner’s preferences.
How To Use A Strap-On
With the right harness and dildo chosen, it’s time to learn how to use a strap-on effectively. This guide will walk you through the process step-by-step.
Step 1: Get Everything Ready
First, attach the dildo to the harness before putting it on. Ensure the o-ring is secured and the straps are adjusted to fit snugly around your body. Depending on the shape and size of the dildo, you may need to use a little water-based lube to help it fit through the o-ring, especially if it has a non-flat base or testicles.
If you’re using a three-strap or two-strap harness, secure the waist strap last. For an underwear-style harness, simply wear it as you would regular underwear. This step ensures the harness stays in place during use, offering a more comfortable experience.
Step 2: Apply Lube Generously
Apply a generous amount of water-based lube directly to the dildo and the opening of the receiver’s vagina or anus. This minimizes friction and enhances comfort during penetration. As mentioned, avoid using silicone-based lube with silicone dildos to prevent damage to the toy.
Consider using a condom on the dildo, especially if sharing it between partners. This practice helps safeguard against STIs and makes the clean-up process easier. Using a condom also adds an extra layer of hygiene.
Step 3: Find the Best Position
Opt for a comfortable position that minimizes hip strain and allows the receiver some control. Doggy-style is a recommended starting position for beginners. Positions that require less hip strength and allow the receiver to guide the penetration can make the experience more comfortable and enjoyable.
Experiment with different positions to find what works best for both partners. Keep in mind comfort and ease of thrusting. Trying out various positions can help identify what feels best, ensuring a more pleasurable experience.
Step 4: Practice Thrusting
Thrusting with a strap-on may feel unnatural at first, especially if you’re not used to the motion. Start with subtle, controlled movements rather than dramatic thrusts. Use your fingers to locate the hole before thrusting to avoid missing the target or causing discomfort.
Communicate with your partner for feedback. Go slow and practice to build the necessary muscles and confidence for more natural and enjoyable thrusting. This helps in making the experience smoother and more pleasurable for both parties.
Step 5: Clean Up Afterward
Clean your strap-on and harness according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Use antibacterial hand wash and warm water for silicone dildos or specific cleaning solutions if recommended. For leather harnesses, avoid machine washing. Instead, wipe them down and dry them thoroughly before storage.
Good hygiene practices, including cleaning your gear promptly after use, help minimize the risk of UTIs and keep your toys in good condition for future use. Proper maintenance ensures longevity and safety for your equipment.
By following these steps, you can ensure a comfortable and enjoyable experience using a strap-on.
What Are Tips for Using a Strap-On During Sex?
Now that you know the basics, here are some additional tips to enhance your strap-on experience.
Why Is It Crucial to Use Lubricant?
Lube is essential for various sexual activities, including strap-on sex, fingering, and anal. It helps reduce friction and makes the experience more comfortable and pleasurable for both partners. Water-based lube is generally preferred because it is safer and doesn’t have the potential complications that can come with flavored or silicone-based lubes.
For long sessions or when natural lubrication starts to diminish, lube becomes particularly important. It ensures that the experience remains smooth and enjoyable, preventing discomfort or potential injury. Water-based and unscented lubes are often chosen for their safety and lack of unnecessary additives.
Organic options like coconut oil can also be effective as a natural lubricant. Some couples find that it works well for them, providing the necessary slipperiness without the need for commercial products. However, it’s important to note that not all natural oils are safe for use with latex condoms or certain sex toys.
Talk About What You Both Like
Talk with your partner about what it is you both like about the idea of strap-on sex and pick a model together that caters to both of your desires. For example, would you prefer a realistic phallus or one that is shaped for pleasure?
Think about how you imagine using it and how that will affect what you want. Do you want something that can be used vaginally, anally, and orally or just one of those?
Discussing preferences ensures that both partners are on the same page and can enhance the overall experience by selecting a toy that meets mutual desires and fantasies.
It’s Best to Start with Smaller Options
Starting with plugs, especially the silicone ones that come in a set of three, can help your partner work his way up, ensuring comfort and gradual adaptation to larger sizes.
For those new to strap-on play, beginning with smaller toys can prevent discomfort and allow for a more enjoyable and less intimidating introduction to the experience.
How Can You Practice and Experiment?
Practicing and experimenting with different harnesses and dildos can help find what works best for you. For example, a user mentioned finding a leather harness on Amazon for about $32, which has been effective for them during various encounters.
If you’re using a dildo with a flat base, try it out to see how comfortable it is for the length of time you want to use it. If the base causes discomfort, consider investing in a silicone pad like a Bumpher or Sili Saddle to ease the impact.
Experiment with different setups and toys to find the combination that feels the most comfortable and pleasurable for both you and your partner. This might include different harnesses, dildos, and even small bullet vibrators for added stimulation.
What Types of Harnesses Are There?
Understanding the different types of harnesses can help you make an informed decision about which one will best suit your needs and preferences.
One popular type of harness is the boxer harness. A specific brand favored for its ease of use and comfort is RodeOh. This harness resembles regular boxer briefs but is more structured, fits tightly, and has an O-ring at the front to securely hold the dildo in place.
Traditional harnesses are another option. They are smaller, easier to conceal, and do not require laundering like clothing. These harnesses can be worn with or without underwear, making them practical for those who need a discreet and manageable option.
Some users find traditional strap-on harnesses frustrating, especially during initial use. Boxer harnesses, however, are praised for eliminating the hassle of dealing with straps and belts, providing a more straightforward and comfortable experience during sex.
What Are Thigh Harnesses?
Thigh harnesses add a new twist to tribbing, offering a unique way to engage in intimate play. They are especially useful for couples where one partner cannot wear a regular harness but still wants to penetrate their partner.
The Thigh Harness from Aslan Leather, priced at $60, can be a great addition to your toy collection. It provides a secure fit around the thigh, allowing for versatile and creative sexual positions.
Another option is the Thigh Harness from Spartacus, available for $38. This harness allows the dildo to be mounted on the thigh, making it perfect for hands-free penetration and allowing for more dynamic and interactive sexual experiences.
Briefs vs. Harnesses for Strap Play
Some individuals prefer briefs over harnesses for strap play. The original poster expressed a preference for briefs, indicating that they would feel more comfortable in a brief-type system. They asked the community for preferences and reasons why one might be favored over the other, which indicates a desire for a less exposed feeling during strap play.
Richard mentioned that his partner prefers a harness because it can handle more and is adjustable, which is beneficial for accommodating weight fluctuations and different positions. However, he noted that it doesn’t work for cocks with balls attached.
Amanda recommended RodeoH’s unisex underwear harnesses, stating they are comfortable to wear and allow for picking different strap sizes. They also include a ring for a bullet vibrator, adding versatility to the brief style.
Why Are O-Rings Important?
An o-ring is a crucial component designed to hold your dildo in place. It is a circular piece of rubber or metal that ensures the dildo stays securely attached to the harness, preventing it from moving around during use.
If your dildo is too big to fit through the front of the harness, the correct size o-ring can be used to attach it to the front by the snaps. This mechanism ensures that the dildo remains stable, providing a more controlled and pleasurable experience.
Some dildos come with an o-ring of the correct size, but if not, it’s important to find one that is approximately 1/4″ larger in diameter than your toy for the most secure fit. This snug fit is essential to prevent the dildo from moving around while in use, thereby enhancing the overall sexual experience.
Conclusion
Summarizing the key points discussed, it’s clear that strap-ons offer a versatile and inclusive option for sexual exploration. They are not limited by gender or orientation and can be enjoyed by anyone interested in exploring new forms of pleasure.
A variety of harnesses and dildos ensures that there is something for everyone, regardless of their preferences or needs. As we noted, open communication, proper selection, and practice are essential for a satisfying and enjoyable strap-on experience.
In conclusion, strap-ons provide an opportunity to enhance intimacy and explore new dimensions in one’s sex life. By prioritizing comfort, communication, and experimentation, anyone can discover the benefits and joys of using a strap-on.